Around 2016, different doctors started suggesting that I take anti-depressants but I always said no. While I certainly felt lost and a bit sad, I didn’t feel depressed enough to want to take a medication. I understand they were trying to help but, for me, medicine didn’t seem to be the answer. Let’s be clear : I am not anti anti-depressants but I wanted to find another way to get myself out of my funk; I didn’t feel depressed – I felt…something else.
I cleaned up my diet
I thought it was diet-related so I cleaned up my diet, and specifically removed gluten which had helped me in the past. This helped a bit. I felt better and I went on with my life. Then, the “something else” feeling came back.
The emotional roller coaster
To be honest, since then it’s been a roller coaster day-to-day. Some days I wake up feeling good. I can work, exercise, be with my family, be around other people and just generally live the life I want to live.
Then, there are the other days – the days where I hide – spending the afternoon on the couch until I have to get my kids from school and then hiding in my room as much as possible. Making dinner feels like an impossible task on these days. Living anything resembling a normal life is difficult on these days.
Getting educated
While studying to become a Menopause Wellness Coach, I have learned more about what’s happening to me and that my experience is a mix of anxiety and depression. I’ve also learned that – you guessed it! – anxiety and depression are both symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. While anxiety and depression are different mental health conditions, they can coexist and share some common features.
Here is some information about how each can impact our bodies, emotions and thoughts in order to know the difference between the two.
Primary Emotions and Focus:
- Anxiety: Primarily characterized by excessive worry, fear, or apprehension about future events. Anxiety often involves a heightened state of alertness and anticipation of potential threats.
- Depression: Characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyable. Depression often involves a sense of pervasive low mood and a negative outlook on life.
Physical Symptoms:
- Anxiety: Physical symptoms may include muscle tension, restlessness, palpitations, sweating, trembling, and gastrointestinal issues. Anxiety often activates the body’s “fight or flight” response.
- Depression: Physical symptoms may include changes in appetite and weight, fatigue, sleep disturbances (either insomnia or hypersomnia), and psychomotor agitation or retardation. Depression is often associated with a general slowing down of physical and mental processes.
Thought Patterns:
- Anxiety: Involves excessive worrying, racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, and hypervigilance. Anxious thoughts often revolve around potential future threats or negative outcomes.
- Depression: Involves negative thought patterns, self-critical thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, and difficulty making decisions. Depressive thoughts often focus on past failures or a bleak view of the future.
Emotional Expression:
- Anxiety: Expresses itself through heightened emotional reactivity, including nervousness, tension, and a sense of urgency. Anxiety may lead to irritability and a heightened startle response.
- Depression: Expresses itself through a pervasive sense of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of emotional reactivity. Individuals with depression may appear emotionally flat or unresponsive.
Response to Stress:
- Anxiety: Often triggered by perceived or anticipated stressors, leading to a heightened stress response.
- Depression: While stress can contribute to the development or exacerbation of depression, depressive symptoms may persist even in the absence of acute stressors.
It’s infuriating that we aren’t sat down like when had our period classes and taught all of this in our 30s or 40s. It’s sooo important for us to understand that our anxiety and depression is linked to something else and that something else is the transition to menopause. There are alternatives to medicine to help with anxiety and depression such as breathwork and EFT. And, please talk to your doctor about your symptoms, especially if they are severe.